Inspiration was not striking me…until I thought of asking Allen to help me write this week's quick takes. Here comes Team Awesome-o! Allen's comments will be in blue, mine in black.
|We are the best. What does that even mean??|
|If by "awesome" you mean "dorktastic"|
You know what that means…
|5 years later and we're still dorks|
Well, it's the one that looks most like me from last time.
Okay, okay, fine, have it your way!
|My eyes are huge and scary.|
[looks through iPhoto]
Wow, there are way too many embarrassing pictures of me. Mostly from college.
I wouldn't say embarrassing; just funny.
Hmm, embarrassing is in the eye of the beholder. Speaking of embarrassing, what is one of your most embarrassing moments that you can think of, Allen?
I've tried to block these from my memory…oh, oh geez. Remember at the staff party at Stephanie's house when I was playing with her puppy and I accidentally dropped it on its head in front of everybody?
Yeah…that was embarrassing for me, too.
In my defense, I thought that dogs were like cats and always landed on their feet. Whenever I flipped our cats backwards they never landed on their heads…
Yep. I am hoping that puppy turned out normal. I guess it was for the best that Stephanie ended up moving out of the country shortly after that.
Let me see. Oh, yep, here's a good one. So, in third grade at my elementary school the classrooms still had bathrooms built into them so we didn't have to walk all the way down the hall like the big kids (i.e. 5th graders) did.
|Here we each were as 3rd graders…except I was a 3rd grader 4 years before Allen was. Cradle robber.|
Anyway, one time I went into the class bathroom and was doing my usual dawdling chillax on the potty routine. I was just looking around the bathroom and amused myself by making up a song about one of the posters on the wall. It was a large poster of "Frogs and Toads of Missouri." So I made up a song about it and sang it. I would estimate that this was probably a five minute song.
After finishing my song and my business, I exited the bathroom to find the entire class staring at me and my teacher trying really hard to suppress a laugh and a smile. I think everyone started giggling about it. I had quite forgotten that my singing would be audible. That was embarrassing. The class clown/bully (Greg Vialton, still remember his name, of course) didn't let me live that one down for a while.
Do you still know the song?
No. I don't remember anything about it because I don't remember any facts about frogs and toads of Missouri. Interesting tidbit, though: because I was so mortified by this whole experience, I decided that the best way to "get back at" everyone for staring/laughing at me was TO NEVER SMILE AGAIN.
That's what did it?
Yes. I made it my solemn project never to smile again. And unfortunately I really succeeded at it for a while. You know how moms say, "Your face will freeze like that?" Did your mom ever say that to you?
No, because my mom never says dumb things.
Well, it's a classic mom line. At any rate, I think my face did freeze like that; now most of the time when I'm concentrating on something people think I'm really mad. I just look too serious.
Like right now?
Probably. But I'm not mad. I'm just concentrating. So let that be a lesson to you, kids.
Like any question?
Something appropriate for a blog.
…does it have to be random? Like, what kind of question?
Any kind! Doesn't have to be random, just something that you think readers will find interesting about me.
Can't you think of a question?!
It's so nebulous! Okay, do you think you're pretty?
|For example, not this time. At all. Eww.|
I know. It was for a Drag Ball at college. Let us never speak of it again. But seriously, sometimes I think I am pretty. For example, I am really enjoying this haircut. I think I look very cute in it.
I think that I look cuter than Justin Bieber even though it is pretty much the same haircut as his. But, are you distinguishing between pretty, cute, and beautiful? Or are they all the same thing to you?
They're all different. But that's because I'm precise and literal, so different words have different meanings.
Oh yeah, like how you distinguish between "couple" "few" and "several"? What are your definitions of those again?
Really? A couple is two or three. A few is three or four. Several can be from five to ten, depending on context.
You are extremely concrete and definitive about everything. Have you ever considered that you might be high-functioning autistic?
Yes, developmentally. And I'm not concrete about everything. Just some things. Like that statement.
That gets me thinking about the whole "opposites attract" notion. I don't think it is always true, but I think it is mostly true in our case. Do you agree?
I think we've talked about this before. It's true about superficial things, and false about core things. You need to be on the same page about core things, but with differences in the superficial things, you can complement each other.
You know what I love about you? That even though I'm the one typing this, I know you would have used the right version of "complement" in that sentence. You are very articulate. It WAS the first thing that attracted me to you, you know.
That you were either Israeli or Hispanic.
You sent me a photo via email before we met, and it was very misleading.
|This was the photo, by the way. Not bad for a selfie.|
It does now, but I didn't know what you looked like then. And I wouldn't call you pasty.
You're so sweet.
You know what's pasty? Paste.
That was a joke.
Maybe people are wondering how you've made it this far being married to a clown.
You're not a clown. You are a hard-working, good-looking, cute baby-making, critical-thinking, multi-tasking…
…black and white thinking hubberton. And I love you.
I find that I love you as well. <smooch>
|(Photograpic evidence of said smooch)|
Also, I know I'm not a clown. Not literally.
|But I am!|
For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!