Saturday, January 17, 2015
It's mid-January now, so that probably means that most of our resolutions to do All The Good Things are starting to lose steam. I didn't really make any resolutions this year. I'm too busy getting worked on to tell God what kind of work it ought to be.
I know, I know: Christianese-crypto-blogging at its best, right? Well, here's what I mean. I've spent much time in life telling God all the things about me He needs to fix, like some kind of initial eval visit with a plastic surgeon. I want this bad habit removed. I want this personality flaw minimized. Maybe we could do an asset lift? Can we do something about my completely underdeveloped virtues, please? Oh, and if you can take some pounds off I promise--pinky swear!--to do all the work to keep it that way. Pretty please?
And all the while, God would sit there listening politely. When I was finally done, a consent form slides across the table for me to sign. It clearly states that He gets to decide what will and will not be changed and that my input is not necessarily going to be used at all. I'm just not so comfortable with that, you know? I mean, it's MY soul after all, and shouldn't I get to decide how He's going to help me, in the words of Joel Osteen, Live My Best Life Now?
So I don't sign it, or I sign it but then don't show up for the first appointment. I can do better.
Now, the analogy breaks down because of course God has always been at work in my life. Thankfully, He doesn't always wait to be asked. But then again, I think there are times when He is waiting for us to surrender before He really makes the changes that need to happen. I think He also has a hand in helping us reach the point of surrender. It's all grace, really...everything He offers is grace.
Anyway, 2014 brought lots of opportunities to surrender and when I accepted the grace to do so, there was none of this nonsense about what *I* wanted to have changed about me. Nope. This time, the to-do list is God's. And the timeline is His, too.
Back to resolution-making: in case you want an awesome perspective on it, please read this. My fair coz wrote it and it really says what I want to say for myself for going forward in 2015. Thanks, Chandra, for writing an awesome New Year's post so I don't have to!
And thanks to anyone who still happens to read my thoughts. I know it's been sparse for much of the last year. Somehow I just haven't had as much to say publicly, I suppose. I had some months there where the words were flooding out, where it was a relief and a joy and a privilege and a calling to update several times a week. And then it changed, and I'm not sure why. For a while, I felt pretty bad about it, like I was "letting my readers down."
A bit grandiose of me to think that, I now perceive.
Now I'm embracing it as another one of those "this is how life is right now" things. My main public writing priorities lie with Real Housekeeping, where I am now the Content Editor. Come and see me there sometime!
May this year offer you grace after grace after grace...and may you say "yes" to them all.