And then...fizzle. The muse went on her merry way and my blog started to fall into general cobwebbery (yes, I made that word up, but I'm a former English teacher so I can do that!)
I think part of the fizzle came from my increased involvement with writing for and then editing at Real Housekeeping. Undoubtedly, another part of the fizzle came from the busyness that comes with three kids under 5.
But another source of fizzle has a reason which I'm not sure is entirely blameless. That fizzle is the fact that over the past few years I've become increasingly fearful of what happens when I put my heart on the line in public spaces like Facebook and blogs. They say that if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. I started not to be able to take the heat. I'd write a post and then sweat bullets and have bouts of anxiety and panic about what the combox would say or what emails might follow.
I could make my blog without comment capability, but that seems like a bandaid on a gaping wound. I've read that people like me tend to "perceive any personal criticism as a threat." So I backed off of blogging about anything much beyond cute kids (and even that has been sparse, though only due to lack of getting on the ol' blogaroo.)
I'm not sure whether this back-off is a sign of self-care or just a sign of still being wounded and hiding. I'm not going to decide today, either. But I am excited to go to a blogging conference in sunny California (thanks, tax refund! Thanks, hubby!) next month put on by the Catholic Women Bloggers Network. Some of the people there have blogs with big followings and a million hits a month. I don't aspire to that at all, but I'm hoping for a good time, relaxation, meeting some of these people whose blogs I read IRL (in real life), and fellowship. And maybe I'll get some more insight on if there's any particular direction God wants me to go with this blog. But otherwise I'll just have fun.
And here's some cute kid photos for the fam.
|I do love to see them reading together.|
|Yum, crayons! Entertainment, food, and makeup, all-in-one!|
|Max shows us that bald eagles have sharp teeth...see?|
|Ruby's school picture. We're not sure whether or not she'll continue on to do her kindergarten year at Redland next year, but we've been glad to have her there last year and this.|