A Moment of Mommy Grace
Love is Still a Worthy Cause, by Sara Groves
This song has spoken volumes to me at several different points in my life. I listened to it daily through rough patches of teaching (at various age levels and schools), and now I listen to it as a parent. My middle child, my elder son, is 3 years old and putting us through our paces. He's got an iron will, and whaddya know, it often doesn't align with my will for him.
It's not easy. Many times I am perplexed and baffled by what to do. I often fall into the fear-based thinking that it will always be this way, that he'll be a punk for the rest of his life, that we won't have a moment's peace with him ever.
And then there are the moments which put things into perspective. Today, as we were getting into the car to pick Ruby up from school (where Max would have been also had he not thrown up last night), we spotted our neighbor sitting in her car. She was sobbing. Max noticed and called out to her, "Hi!" She looked up and wiped away her tears to reply, "Hi honey." Max said, "What are you doing?"
I held my breath for a moment, wondering how she'd respond. She simply said, "I'm looking for my phone. I can't find it."
As I was buckling Max into his car seat, he said, "Mom, let's talk to God and ask him to help her find her phone." So we did. We asked God to help her find her phone.
It was such a moment of grace and relief; yes, he's a stubborn little cuss...but he's sensitive to the needs and feelings of others. Mind you, he still has his moments of running roughshod over his siblings (at times literally), but even in his Tasmanian devil whirlwind state, he notices and cares about others. He's always ready to say hi and strike up conversation with neighbors (invariably starting with "What's your name?" even if he's known them for months). He is capable of huge tantrums and great love. Apparently, these can coexist in the soul of a three year old.
Love is still a worthy cause. I may run out of it when he poops his pants for the six bajillionth time, but it is a renewable resource when I remember to go to the One who loved me first.